The young immigrunts. With a pref. by the father. Portraits by Gaar Williams

THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

The
Young Immigrunts

RING W. LARDNER, JR.

WITH A PREFACE BY
THE FATHER

Portraits by Gaar Williams

INDIANAPOLIS

THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
PUBLISHERS

COPYRIGHT 1920
THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY

COPYRIGHT 1920
THE BOBBS- MERRILL COMPANY

Printed in the United States of America

DEC 13 1968

PBI88 Of

•HAUNWORTH * CO.

BOOK MANUFACTURtR*

BROOKLYN, N. V.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER PAGI

PREFACE BY THE FATHER ix

1 MY PARENTS 13

2 STARTING GAILY 19

3 ERIE LAKE 29

4 BUFFALO TO ROCHESTER 76.4 ... 39

5 MY FATHER'S IDEAR 44

6 SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2 ... 50

7 HUDSON 63

8 HUDSON TO YONKERS 106.5 ... 71

9 THE BUREAU OF MANHATTAN . . 76

10 N. Y. TO GRENITCH 500.0 ... 78

11 How IT ENDED. 82

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

PAGE

The Author Frontispiece

The Rest of the Family 15

Granmother at Goshen 21

Uncle Bill 25

Uncle and Ant in Detroit 31

The Bride and Glum 35

The Man with the Adams Apple ... 41

The Dirty Mechanic 47

Dr. and Mrs. Hey wood 53

The Policeman at Albany 59

A Man of 12 Years 65

TheLanlady 69

The Policeman at New Rochelle ... 79

Our nurse 83

PREFACE

'TPHE person whose name is signed
-^ to this novel was born on the
nineteenth day of August, 1915, and
was therefore four years and three
months old when the manuscript was
found, late in November, 1919. The
narrative is substantially true, with
the following exceptions:

1. "My Father," the leading char-
acter in the work, is depicted as a
man of short temper, whereas the
person from whom the character
was drawn is in reality as pleasant
a fellow as one would care to meet
and seldom has a cross word for
any one, let alone women and chil-
dren.

2. The witty speeches accredited

ix

X PREFACE

to "My Father" have, possibly owing
to the limitations of a child's mem-
ory, been so garbled and twisted
that they do not look half so good
in print as they sounded in the open
air.

3. More stops for gas were made
than are mentioned in the story.

As the original manuscript was
written on a typewriter with a rather
frayed ribbon, and as certain words
were marked out and others hand-
written in, I have taken the liberty
of copying the entire work with a
fresh ribbon and the inclusion of the
changes which the author indicated
in pencil in the first draft. Other-
wise the story is presented to the
reader exactly as it was first set
down. THE FATHER.

THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

The Young Immigrants

CHAPTER 1

My Parents

MY parents are both married
and J of them are very good
looking. The balance is tall and
skiny and has a swarty complex-
ion with moles but you hardily ever
notice them on account of your gaze
being rapped up in his feet which
would be funny if brewity wasnt the
soul of wit. Everybody says I have
his eyes and I am glad it didnt half
to be something else tho Rollie Zei-
der the ball player calls him owl eyes
for a nick name but if I was Rollie

13

14 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

Zeider and his nose I wouldnt pick
on somebodys else features.

He wears pretty shirts which he
bought off of another old ball player
Artie Hofman to attrack tension off
of his feet and must of payed a big
price for them I heard my ant tell
my uncle when they thorght I was
a sleep down to the lake tho I guess
he pays even more for his shoes if
they sell them by the frunt foot.

I was born in a hospittle in Chi-
cago 4 years ago and liked it very
much and had no idear we were go-
ing to move till 1 day last summer I
heard my mother arsk our nurse did
she think she could get along 0. K
with myself and 3 brothers John
Jimmie and David for 10 days wilst
she and my old man went east to
look for a costly home.

(o-

MY PARENTS 17

Well yes said our nurse barshfully.

I may as well exclaim to the reader
that John is 7 and Jimmie is 5 and I
am 4 and David is almost nothing
as yet you might say and tho I was
named for my father they call me
Bill thank God.

The conversation amungst my
mother and our nurse took place
right after my father came back
from Toledo where Jack Dempsey
knocked Jessie Willard for a gool
tho my father liked the big fellow
and bet on him.

David was in his bath at the time
and my mother and our nurse and
myself and 2 elder brothers was
standing around admireing him tho
I notice that when the rest of the
family takes their bath they dont
make open house of the occassion.

18 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

Well my parents went east and
dureing their absents myself and
brothers razed hell with David on
the night shift but when they come
back my mother said to the nurse
were they good boys.

Fine replid our nurse lamely and
where are you going to live.

Connecticut said my mother.

Our nurse forced a tired smile.

Here we will leave my parents to
unpack and end this chapter.

CHAPTER 2

Starting Gaily

TT 7E spent the rest of the summer

* * on my granmother in Indiana
and my father finley went to the
worst series to write it up as he has
followed sports of all sorts for years
and is a expert so he bet on the wite
BOX and when he come home he acted
rarther cross.

Well said my mother simperingly
I suppose we can start east now.

We will start east when we get
good and ready said my father with
a lordly sneeze.

The next thing was how was we
going to make the trip as my father
had boughten a new car that the

19

20 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

cheepest way to get it there was
drive it besides carrying a grate
deal of our costly bagage but if all
of us went in it they would be no
room left for our costly bagage and
besides 2 of my brothers always acts
like devils incarnite when they get
in a car so my mother said to our
nurse.

If you think you can manage the
2 older boys and David on the train
myself and husband will take Bill in
the car said my mother to our nurse.

Fine replid our nurse with a gast-
ly look witch my mother did not see.

Myself and parents left Goshen
Indiana on a fine Monday morning
leaveing our nurse and brothers to
come latter in the weak on the rail-
way. Our plans was to reach Detroit
that night and stop with my uncle

STARTING GAILY 23

and ant and the next evening take
the boat to Buffalo and thence to
Connecticut by motor so the first
town we past through was Middle-
bury.

Elmer Flick the old ball player use
to live here said my father modestly.

My mother forced a smile and soon
we were acrost the Michigan line
and my mother made the remark
that she was thirsty.

We will stop at Coldwater for
lunch said my father with a strate
face as he pulls most of his lines
without changeing expressions.

Sure enough we puled up to 1 side
of the road just after leaveing Cold-
water and had our costly viands of
frid chicken and doughnuts and milk
fernished by my grate ant and of
witch I partook freely.

24 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

We will stop at Ypsilanti for sup-
per said my father in calm tones that
is where they have the state normal
school.

I was glad to hear this and hoped
we would get there before dark as
I had always wanted to come in con-
tack with normal peaple and see
what they are like and just at dusk
we entered a large size town and
drove past a large size football field.

Heavens said my mother this must
be a abnormal school to have such a
large football field.

My father wore a qeer look.

This is not Ypsilanti this is Ann
Arbor he crid.

But I thorght you said we would
go south of Ann Arbor and direct to
Ypsilanti said my mother with a
smirk.

STARTING GAILY 27

I did say that but I thorght I would
surprise you by comeing into Ann
Arbor replid my father with a corse
jesture.

Personly I think the suprise was
unanimous.

Well now we are here said my
mother we might as well look up Bill.

Bill is my uncle Bill so we stoped
at the Alfa Belt house and got him
and took him down to the hotel for
supper and my old man called up Mr.
Yost the football coach of the Michi-
gan football team and he come down
and visited with us.

What kind of a team have you got
coach said my father lamely.

I have got a determined team re-
plid Mr. Yost they are determined to
not play football.

At this junction my unlucky moth-

28 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

er changed the subjeck to the league
of nations and it was 10 o'clock be-
fore Mr. Yost come to a semi colon
so we could resume our jurney and
by the time we past through Ypsi-
lanti the peaple was not only sub-
normal but unconsius. It was nerly
midnight when we puled up in frunt
of my ants and uncles house in De-
troit that had been seting up since 7
expecting us.

Were sorry to be so late said my
mother bruskly.

Were awfully glad you could come
at all replid my ant with a ill con-
sealed yawn.

We will now leave my relitives to
get some sleep and end this chapter.

Erie Lake

n^HE boat leaves Detroit every
••• afternoon at 5 oclock and reachs
Buffalo the next morning at 9 tho I
would better exclaim to my readers
that when it is 9 oclock in Buffalo
it is only 8 oclock in Goshen for in-
stants as Buffalo peaple are qeer.

Well said my father the next
morning at brekfus I wander what
time we half to get the car on the
board of the boat.

I will find out down town and call
up and let you know replid my uncle
who is a engineer and digs soors or
something.

Sure enough he called up dureing

29

30 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

the fornoon and said the car must
be on the board of the boat at 3
oclock so my father left the house
at 2 oclock and drove down to the
worf tho he had never drove a car
In Detroit before but has nerves of
steal. Latter my uncle come out to
his home and took myself and
mother and ant down to the worf
where my old man was waiting for
us haveing put the car on the board.

What have you been doing ever
since 3 oclock arsked my mother as
it was now nerly 5.

Haveing a high ball my father
replid.

I thorght Detroit was dry said
my mother shyly.

Did you said my father with a rye
smile and as it was now nerly time
for the boat to leave we said good

ERIE LAKE 33

by to my uncle and ant and went on
the boat. A messenger took our
costly bagage and put it away wilst
myself and parents went out on the
porch and set looking at the peaple
on the worf. Suddenly they was a
grate hub bub on the worf and a
young man and lady started up the
gangs plank wilst a big crowd
throwed rice and old shoes at them
and made a up roar.

Bride and glum going to Niagara
Falls said my father who is well
travelled and seams to know every-
thing.

Instantly the boat give a blarst on
the wistle and I started with su-
prise.

Did that scare you Bill said my
father and seamed to enjoy it and I
supose he would of laughed out right

34 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

had I fell overboard and been
drowned in the narsty river water.

Soon we were steeming up the
river on the city of Detroit 3.

That is Canada over there is it not
said my mother.

What did you think it was the
Austrian Tyrol replid my father
explodeing a cough. Dureing our
progress up the river I noticed sev-
ral funny things flotting in the water
with lanterns hanging on them and
was wandering what they could be
when my mother said they seam to
have plenty of boys.

They have got nothing on us replid
my father quick as a flarsh.

A little latter who should come out
on the porch and set themselfs ner
us but the bride and glum.

Oh I said to myself I hope they

ERIE LAKE 37

will talk so as I can hear them as I
have always wandered what newly-
weds talk about on their way to
Niagara Falls and soon my wishs
was realized.

Some night said the young glum
are you warm enough.

I am perfectly comfertible replid
the fare bride tho her looks belid her
words what time do we arive in
Buffalo.

9 oclock said the lordly glum are
you warm enough.

I am perfectly comfertible replid
the fare bride what time do we arive
in Buffalo.

9 oclock said the lordly glum I am
afrade it is too cold for you out here.

Well maybe it is replid the fare
bride and without farther adieu they
went in the spacius parlers.

38 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

I wander will he be arsking her 8
years from now is she warm enough
said my mother with a faint grimace.

The weather may change before
then replid my father.

Are you warm enough said my
father after a slite pause.

No was my mothers catchy reply.

Well said my father we arive in
Buffalo at 9 oclock and with that we
all went inside as it was now pitch
dark and had our supper and retired
and when we rose the next morning
and drest and had brekfus we puled
up to the worf in Buffalo and it was
9 oclock so I will leave the city of
Detroit 3 tide to the worf and end
this chapter.

CHAPTER 4

Buffalo to Rochester 76.4

A) we was leaveing the boat who
should I see right along side of
us but the fare bride and the lordly
glum.

We are right on the dot said the
glum looking at his costly watch it
is just 9 oclock and so they past out
of my life.

We had to wait qite a wile wilst
the old man dug up his bill of load-
ing and got the costly moter.

We will half to get some gas he
said I wonder where they is a garage.

No sooner had the words fell from
his lips when a man with a flagrant

39

40 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

Adams apple handed him a card with
the name of a garage on it.

Go up Genesee st 5 blks and turn
to the left or something said the
man with the apple.

Soon we reached the garage and
had the gas tank filled with gas it
was 27 cents in Buffalo and soon we
was on our way to Rochester. Well
these are certainly grate roads said
my father barshfully.

They have lots better roads in the
east than out west replid my mother
with a knowing wink.

The roads all through the east are
better than out west remarked my
father at lenth.

These are wonderfull replid my
mother smuggleing me vs her arm.

The time past quickly with my par-
ents in so jocular a mood and all

"ZTte.

BUFFALO TO ROCHESTER 76.4 43

most before I knew it we was on the
outer skirts of Batavia.

What town is this quired my
mother in a tolerant voice.

Batavia husked my father slough-
ing down to 15 miles per hour.

Well maybe we would better stop
and have lunch here said my mother
coyly.

We will have lunch in Rochester
replid my father with a loud cough.

My mother forced a smile and it
was about J past 12 when we
arived in Rochester and soon we was
on Genesee st and finley stoped in
front of a elegant hotel and shared
a costly lunch.

CHAPTER 5

My Father's Idear

"ITK7ILST participateing in the
* * lordly viands my father hailed
out his map and give it the up and
down.

Look at here he said at lenth they
seams to be a choice of 2 main roads
between here and Syracuse but 1 of
them gos way up north to Oswego
wilst the other gos way south to
Geneva where as Syracuse is strate
east from here you might say so it
looks to me like we would save both
millage and time if we was to drive
strate east through Lyons the way
the railway gos.

44

MY FATHER'S IDEAR 45

Well I dont want to ride on the ties
said my mother with a loud cough.

Well you dont half to because they
seams to be a little road that gos
strate through replid my father re-
moveing a flys cadaver from the
costly farina.

Well you would better stick to the
main roads said my mother tack-
lessly.

Well you would better stick to
your own business replid my father
with a pungent glance.

Soon my father had payed the
check and gave the waiter a lordly
bribe and once more we sprang into
the machine and was on our way.
The lease said about the results of
my fathers grate idear the soonest
mended in a word it turned out to
be a holycost of the first water as

46 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

after we had covered miles and miles
of ribald roads we suddenly come to
a abrupt conclusion vs the side of a
stagnant freight train that was
stone deef to honks. My father set
there for nerly J a hour reciteing the
4 Horses of the Apoplex in a under
tone but finley my mother mustard
up her curage and said affectedly
why dont we turn around and go
back somewheres. I cant spell what
my father replid.

At lenth my old man decided that
Lyons wouldnt never come to Ma-
homet if we set it out on the same
lines all winter so we backed up and
turned around and retraced 4 miles
of shell holes and finley reached our
objective by way of Detour.

Puling up in front of a garage my
father beckoned to a dirty mechanic.

How do we get to Syracuse from

MY FATHER'S IDEAR 49

here arsked my father blushing furi-
ously.

Go strate south to Geneva and
then east to Syracuse replid the
dirty mechanic with a loud cough.

Isnt there no short cut arsked my
father.

Go strate south to Geneva and
then east to Syracuse replid the dirty
mechanic.

You see daddy we go to Geneva
after all I said brokenly but luckly
for my piece of mind my father dont
beleive in corporeal punishment a
specially in front of Lyons peaple.

Soon we was on a fine road and
nothing more hapened till we puled
into Syracuse at 7 that evening and
as for the conversation that changed
hands in the car between Lyons and
Syracuse you could stick it in a day
message and send it for 30 cents.

CHAPTER 6

Syracuse to Hudson 183.2

OOON we was on Genesee st in
^ Syracuse but soon turned off a
blk or 2 and puled up in front of a
hotel that I cant ether spell or pro-
nounce besides witch they must of
been a convention of cheese sculpters
or something stoping there and any
way it took the old man a hour to
weedle a parler bed room and bath
out of the clerk and put up a cot
for me.

Wilst we was enjoying a late and
futile supper in the hotel dinning
room a man named Duffy reckonized
my father and came to our table and

50

SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2 51

arsked him to go to some boxing
matchs in Syracuse that night.

Thanks very much said my father
with a slite sneeze but you see what
I have got on my hands besides witch
I have been driveing all day and half
to start out again erly in the morn-
ing so I guess not.

Between you and I dear reader
my old man has been oposed to pugi-
lisms since the 4 of July holycost.

Who is that man arsked my moth-
er when that man had gone away.

Mr. Duffy replid my father shove
the ketchup over this way.

Yes I know he is Mr. Duffy but
where did you meet him insisted my
mother quaintly.

In Boston my father replid where
would a person meet a man named
Duffy.

52 THE YOUNG IMMIGBUNTS

When we got up the next morning
it was 6 o'clock and purring rain but
we eat a costly brekfus and my
father said we would save time if we
would all walk down to the garage
where he had horded the car witch
he stated was only 2 short blks away
from the hotel. Well if it was only
2 short blks why peaple that lives
next door to each other in Syracuse
are by no means neighbors and when
we got there the entire party was
soping wet and rarther rabid.

We will all catch our death of cold
chuckled my mother.

What of it explained my old man
with a dirty look at the sky.

Maybe we would better put up the
curtains sugested my mother smirk-
ing.

Maybe we wouldnt too said my
father cordialy.

SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2 55

Well maybe it will clear up said
my mother convulsively.

Maybe it wont too replid my
father as he capered into the drivers

My father is charming company
wilst driveing on strange roads
through a purring rain and even
when we past through Oneida and
he pronounced it like it was a biscuit
neither myself or my mother ven-
tured to correct him but finley we
reached Utica when we got to witch
we puled up along side the kerb and
got out and rang ourselfs out to a
small extent when suddenly a closed
car sored past us on the left.

Why that was Mrs. Heywood in
that car explained my mother with
a fierce jesture. By this time it was
not raining and we got back into the

56 THE YOUNG IMMIGBUNTS

car and presently over took the
closed car witch stoped when they
reckonized us.

And witch boy is this quired Mrs.
Heywood when the usual compli-
ments had been changed.

This is the third he is named for
his father replid my mother force-
ing a smile.

He has his eyes was the comment.

Bill dont you remember Mrs. Hey-
wood said my mother turning on me
she use to live in Riverside and Dr.
Heywood tended to you that time
you had that slite atack of obesity.

Well yes I replid with a slite ac-
cent but did not add how rotten the
medicine tasted that time and soon
we was on Genesee st on our way
out of Utica.

I wander why they dont name

SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2 57

some of their sts Genesee in these
eastren towns said my father for the
sun was now shining but no sooner
had we reached Herkimer when the
clouds bersed with renude vigger
and I think my old man was about
to say we will stop here and have
lunch when my mother sugested it
herself.

No replid my father with a corse
jesture we will go on to Little Falls.

It was raining cats and dogs when
we arived at Little Falls and my
father droped a quaint remark.

If Falls is a verb he said the man
that baptized this town was a prac-
ticle joker.

We will half to change our close
replid my mother steping into a mud
peddle in front of the hotel with a
informal look.

58 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

When we had done so we partook
of a meger lunch and as it was now
only drooling resumed our jurney.

They soked me 5 for that room
said my father but what is a extra
sokeing or 2 on a day like this.

I didnt mean for you to get a room
said my mother violently.

Where did you want us to change
our close on the register said my old
man turning pail.

Wasnt it funny that we should
happen to see Mrs. Heywood in
Utica said my mother at lenth.

They live there dont they my
father replid.

Why yes my mother replid.

Well then my father replid the
real joke would of been if we had of
happened to see her in Auburn.

A little wile latter we past a grate

SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2 61

many signs reading dine at the Big
Nose Mountain Inn.

Rollie Zeider never told me they
had named a mountain after him crid
my father and soon we past through
Fonda.

Soon we past through Amsterdam
and I guess I must of dosed off at
lease I cant remember anything be-
tween there and Schenectady and I
must apologize to my readers for
my laps as I am unable to ether de-
scribe the scenery or report anything
that may of been said between these
2 points but I recall that as we en-
tered Albany a remark was adrest
to me for the first time since lunch.

Bill said my mother with a J smirk
this is Albany the capital of New
York state.

So this is Albany I thorght to my-
self.

62 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

Who is governer of New York now
arsked my mother to my father.

Smith replid my father who seams
to know everything.

Queer name said my mother
sulkily.

Soon we puled up along side a
policeman who my father arsked
how do we get acrost the river to
the New York road and if Albany
pays their policemans by the word
111 say we were in the presents of a
rich man and by the time he got
through it was dark and still drool-
ing and my old man didnt know the
road and under those conditions I
will not repete the conversation that
transpired between Albany and Hud-
son but will end my chapter at the
city limits of the last named settle-
munt.

CHAPTER 7

Hudson

WE were turing gaily down the
main st of Hudson when a man
of 12 years capered out from the
side walk and hoped on the runing
board.

Do you want a good garage he
arsked with a dirty look.

Why yes my good man replid my
father tenderly but first where is the
best hotel.

I will take you there said the man.

I must be a grate favorite in Hud-
son my father wispered at my
mother.

Soon foiling the mans directions

63

64 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

we puled up in front of a hotel but
when my father went at the register
the clerk said I am full tonight.

Where do you get it around here
arsked my father tenderly.

We have no rooms replid the senile
clerk paying no tension to my old
mans remark but there is a woman
acrost the st that takes loggers.

Not to excess I hope replid my
father but soon we went acrost the
st and the woman agrede to hord
us for the night so myself and moth-
er went to our apartmunts wilst my
father and the 12 year old besought
the garage. When we finley got re-
united and went back to the hotel
for supper it was past 8 oclock as
a person could of told from the
viands. Latter in front of our log-
gings we again met the young man

/-/us.

HUDSON 67

who had welcomed us to Hudson and
called my father to 1 side.

There is a sailer going to spend
the night here he said in a horse
wisper witch has walked all the way
from his home Schenectady and he
has got to report on his ship in New
York tomorrow afternoon and has
got no money so if he dont get a free
ride he will be up vs it

He can ride with us replid my
father with a hiccup if tomorrow is
anything like today a sailer will not
feel out of place in my costly moter.

I will tell him replid the man with
a corse jesture.

Will you call us at J past 5 my
mother reqested to our lanlady as
we entered our Hudson barracks.

I will if I am awake she replid use-
ing her handkerchief to some extent

68 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

Latter we wandered how anybody
could help from being awake in that
hot bed of mones and grones and cat
calls and caterwauls and gulish
screaks of all kinds and tho we had
rose erly at Syracuse and had a day
of retchedness we was all more than
ready to get up when she wraped on
our door long ere day brake.

Where is that sailer that stoped
here last night quired my father as
we was about to make a lordly out-
burst.

He wouldnt pay his bill and razed
hell so I kicked him out replid the
lanlady in her bear feet.

Without farther adieu my father
payed his bill and we walked into the
dismul st so I will end this chapter
by leaveing the fare lanlady flaping
in the door way in her sredded night
gown.

CHAPTER 8

Hudson to Yonkers 106.5

T T was raining a little so my father
-*- bad my mother and I stand in the
Bt wilst he went to the garage and
retained the costly moter. He re-
turned J a hour latter with the story
that the garage had been locked and
he had to go to the props house and
roust him out.

How did you know where he lived
quired my mother barshfully.

I used the brains god gave me
was my fathers posthumous reply.

Soon we rumpled into Rhinebeck
and as it was now day light and the
rain had siezed we puled up in front
of the Beekman arms for brekf us.
71

72 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

It says this is the oldest hotel in
America said my mother reading the
programme.

The eggs tastes all right replid my
father with a corse jesture.

What is the next town quired my
mother when we again set sale.

Pokippsie was my fathers reply.

Thats where Vassar is said my
mother as my old man stiffled a yawn
I wonder if there is a store there that
would have a koop for David.

I doubt it they ever heard of him
said my father dryly how much do
they cost.

Well I dont know.

We entered Pokippsie at lentil
and turned to the left up the main
at and puled up in front of a big store
where myself and mother went in
and purchased a koop for my little

HUDSON TO YONKERS 106.5 73

brother and a kap for me witch only
took a J hour dureing witch my
father lost his temper and when we
finley immerged he was barking like
a dog and giveing the Vassar yell. 2
men come out of the store with us
and tost the koop with the rest of
the junk in the back seat and away
we went

Doesnt this look cute on him said
my mother in regards to my new
kap.

What of it replid my father with
a grimace and with that we puled
into Garrison.

Isnt this right acrost the river
from West Point said my mother
with a gastly look.

What of it replid my father ten-
derly and soon we found ourselfs in
Peekskill.

74 THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

This is where that young girl
cousin of mine gos to school said my
father from Philadelphia.

What of it said my mother with a
loud cough and presently we stoped
and bought 15 gals of gas.

I have got a fund of usef ull infor-
mation about every town we come to
said my father admireingly for in-
stants this is Harmon where they
take off the steem engines and put
on the electric bullgines.

My mother looked at him with ill
consealed admiration.

And what do you know about this
town she arsked as we frisked into
Ossining.

Why this is Ossining where they
take off the hair and put on the
stripes replid my father qick as a
flarsh and the next place is Tarry-

HUDSON TO YONKERS 106.5 75

town where John D. Rockefeller has
a estate.

What is the name of the estate
quired my mother breathlessly.

Socony I supose was the sires
reply.

With that we honked into Yonkers
and up the funny looking main st

What a funny looking st said my
mother and I always thorght it was
the home of well to do peaple.

Well yes replid my father it is the
home of the ruling class at lease Bill
Klem the umpire and Bill Langford
the referee lives here.

I will end my chapter on that one.

CHAPTER 9

The Bureau of Manhattan

TSN'T it about time said my mother
•^ as we past Spuyten Duyvil and
entered the Bureau of Manhattan
that we made our plans.

What plans said my father all my
plans is all ready made.

Well then you might make me your
confident sugested my mother with
a quaint smirk.

Well then heres the dope uttered
my father in a vage tone I am going
to drop you at the 125 st station
where you will only half to wait 2
hours and a J for the rest of the
family as the train from the west is
do at 350 at 125 st in the meen wile
76

THE BUREAU OF MANHATTAN 77

I will drive out to Grenitch with Bill
and see if the house is ready and
etc and if the other peaples train is
on time you can catch the 4 4 and I
an Bill will meet you at the Grenitch
station.

If you have time get a qt of milk
for David said my mother with a pail
look.

What kind of milk arsked my dad.

Oh sour milk my mother screened.

As she was now in a pretty bad
temper we will leave her to cool off
for 2 hours and a \ in the 125 st sta-
tion and end this chapter.

CHAPTER 10

N. Y. to Grenitch 500.0

rpHE lease said about my and my
••• fathers trip from the Bureau of
Manhattan to our new home the
soonest mended. In some way ether
I or he got balled up on the grand
concorpse and next thing you know
we was thretning to swoop down on
Pittsfield.

Are you lost daddy I arsked ten-
derly.

Shut up he explained.

At lenth we doubled on our
tracks and done much better as we
finley hit New Rochelle and puled
up along side a policeman with fall-
ing archs.

78

N. Y. TO GRENITCH 500.0 81

What road do I take for Grenitch
Conn quired my father with poping

eyes.
Take the Boston post replid the

policeman.

I have all ready subscribed to one
out of town paper said my father
and steped on the gas so we will leave
the flat foot gaping after us like a
prune fed calf and end this chapter.

CHAPTER 11

How It Ended

rT*RUE to our promise we were at

••• the station in Grenitch when the
costly train puled in from 125 st
Myself and father hoped out of the
lordly moter and helped the bulk of
the f amly off of the train and I aloud
our nurse and my 3 brothers to kiss
me tho Davids left me rarther moist.

Did you have a hard trip my
father arsked to our nurse shyly.

Why no she replid with a elite
stager.

She did too said my mother they
all acted like little devils.

Did you get Davids milk she said
turning on my father.

82

G

uSi.

HOW IT ENDED 85

Why no does he like milk my
father replid with a gastly smirk.

We got lost mudder I said brok-
enly.

We did not screened my father and
accidently cracked me in the shins
with a stray foot

To change the subjeck I turned
my tensions on my brother Jimmie
who is nerest my age.

I've seen our house Jimmie I said
brokenly I got here first.

Yes but I slept all night on a train
and you didnt replid Jimmie with a
dirty look.

Nether did you said my brother
John to Jimmie you was awake all
night

Were awake said my mother.

Me and David was awake all night
and crid said my brother John.

86

THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS

But I only crid once the whole time
said my brother Jimmie.

But I didnt cry at all did 1 1 arsked
to my mother.

So she replid with a loud cough
Bill was a very very good boy.

So now we will say fare well to the
characters in this book.

&

r\

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